Lessons From My First Teacher - My Mom

When I think about my mom, I don’t first think of the milestones or the holidays, though there were many special ones. I think of the mornings.

I think of the sound of her moving through the house before anyone else was awake... quiet but steady, like the rhythm that kept our family’s time. As a kid, during the school year, she would have breakfast ready for my sister and me, and we had to sit at the table together each morning and eat breakfast before school. During the summers, I would wake up to her being gone, and I knew that she was out picking blackberries or already working in the yard. 

My mom believed in the power of routine long before “morning habits” became a buzzword. She called herself a “domestic engineer,” and she approached every day with purpose.

Each morning, she made her bed, a small act of order that seemed to set the tone for her whole day. She always got dressed for the day - sometimes in sweats and tennis shoes, but always ready. And she made sure I was ready, too.

Every night before bed, she’d remind me to pick out my clothes for the next day. Then, in the mornings, I’d hear her voice from down the hall: “Jennifer! Make your bed!”

At the time, I didn’t realize she was teaching me something bigger than how to keep a tidy room. She was showing me how preparation and consistency could shape a life. Those simple habits became the foundation for who I am today: someone who values doing things well and making the most of each day.

Mom also nurtured my love for learning. When I was in late elementary and junior high school, she would take my sister and me to the library so we could check out books. I can still remember the tall bookshelves and the quiet calm where I was allowed to choose any book. I read all sorts of topics and tales, each one creating curiosity and a thrill for learning.

Looking back, I see now that she was planting the seeds for a lifelong love of reading. It has been something that has brought me so much joy, learning, and connection throughout my life.

One of her lessons that I’ve carried with me the longest came during my first retail job in college. She told me,

“The person in front of you is always more important than the person at the end of the phone line.”

That one sentence has stuck with me all these years, and I’ve shared it with my daughters, too.

Even though my mom couldn’t have imagined the world we live in now, with smartphones, texts, and social media, I think her wisdom is more important than ever. It’s so easy to be distracted, but she reminded me to be present… to look people in the eye… to give my full attention to whoever is standing right in front of me.

Integrity was also one of my mom’s core values. She didn’t just talk about it; she lived it. She expected honesty and hard work. We weren’t allowed to quit something we had started, and that taught us perseverance and grit.

And she was a protector. Fierce. Loyal. If someone messed with her family, she stood her ground. She could be tough on us, but she was even tougher on anyone who threatened the people she loved.

Now that she’s gone, I see her lessons everywhere. In my morning routines. In my love of books. In the way I show up for people. In the values I’ve tried to pass down to my own daughters.

My mom taught me that a good life isn’t made up of big moments. It’s built in the small, consistent acts that add up over time.

It’s in how we start our day. 

In the truth we tell.

In the presence we give to the person right in front of us.

Her lessons, and her joy, are still shaping me.

I love you, Mom. 

Cultivating Cultures of Character: What I Saw at Two Alabama Schools

This week, I had the privilege of joining KPCEL (Kern Partners for Character and Educational Leadership) on Character Walks at two remarkable schools - Edgewood Elementary in Homewood, AL, and Pizitz Middle School in Vestavia Hills, AL.

For those unfamiliar, Character Walks are intentional school visits where educators and leaders tour campuses to observe how character is embedded into the daily culture of a school. These walks are about more than what you see, they’re about what you feel. The goal is to notice how values are lived out in classrooms, hallways, and everyday interactions.

Members of the KPCEL Character Walk at Edgewood Elementary (Photo Credit: Homewood City Schools)

Pizitz Middle School has earned recognition as a National School of Character by Character.org, while Edgewood Elementary has been named a Promising Practice school for its innovative approaches to character development. Both schools left me deeply inspired.

Walking through the halls, I was struck not just by the positive energy but by the intentionality behind everything I saw and heard. Their core values weren’t just written on a wall or tucked away in a handbook. They were alive - woven into conversations, classroom routines, and even how students treated one another in the cafeteria and on the playground.

Visiting Edgewood Elementary (Photo Credit: Homewood City Schools)

It reminded me that culture doesn’t happen by accident. A culture of character is cultivated when leaders, teachers, and students alike commit to living out values every day, in and out of the classroom.

Members of Hope Institute at Pizitz Middle School

At Edgewood Elementary, I saw teachers seamlessly connect lessons back to the school’s values, helping students not just learn content but also grow as people. At Pizitz Middle School, students spoke with pride about their shared responsibility in upholding the community’s standards of their core values as well as their creed of character, excellence, and family.

(I was familiar with the principal at Pizitz Middle School, Alicia Hunsberger, as I had interviewed her on the Communities of Character podcast. You can listen to the interview HERE.)

As I experienced these Character Walks, I thought back to my last two years as principal at Hoover High School. During that time, our school community - students, staff, and families - identified our core values and began the important work of weaving them into all aspects of school life. Seeing students at Edgewood and Pizitz living out their schools’ values reminded me of the power of that work and affirmed the direction we had taken at Hoover.

After stepping away from the principalship this summer to help care for my parents, I’ve been grateful to return to the Hope Institute as a Senior Character Coach. This new chapter has given me the opportunity to visit schools like Edgewood and Pizitz, where I get to witness the powerful impact of character education in action.

Members of the Hope Institute at Edgewood Elementary

What inspires me most is knowing that schools like these are modeling what’s possible. They remind us that when character is prioritized, students thrive - not only academically, but also as leaders, friends, and citizens.

To every educator working to build a culture of character: your work matters more than you know. It’s not always easy, and it certainly takes intentional effort, but the results are transformational.

Leaving Edgewood and Pizitz, I felt renewed hope for the future. Because if our schools can shape not just smarter students, but kinder and more compassionate human beings, then we’re shaping a better world.

Pizitz Principal, Alicia Hunsberger, reminds us of the importance of love in all we do.

Question for Reflection:

What would it look like in your school or organization if your core values were truly alive in every classroom, hallway, and interaction?

I’d love to hear from you—share your thoughts in the comments or join me over on Twitter/X. 

From Burnout to Boundaries: What I Learned About Leading With Intention

This post includes affiliate links. Thanks for supporting this blog and the work I share at The Compelled Educator.

Leadership burnout often isn’t about a lack of time -- it’s about how we spend our energy. Just like our finances, energy is a limited resource. If we overspend, we end up depleted. But if we invest wisely, we can show up as our best selves --even during the busiest, most demanding seasons.

I learned this lesson the hard way during my first principalship.

I was eager, committed, and determined to give 110%. I arrived early, stayed late, answered every call, and said yes to every request. I was always “on” -- because I believed that’s what great leaders do. But I didn’t set boundaries. I didn’t create space to recharge. And I didn’t realize, until it caught up with me, that I was giving so much away that there was nothing left in the tank.

I started noticing signs of burnout... short patience, trouble focusing, even resentment. I wasn’t showing up the way I wanted to. And that’s when I realized: this isn’t just about managing time. It’s about managing energy.

Since then, I try to be just as intentional with my energy as I am with my money. 

Each morning and week, I reflect:

~What’s draining me right now?

~What’s filling me back up?

~Where do I need to set a boundary or make a better investment?

One quote that’s guided me through this journey is from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:

“Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the room.”

Dr. Taylor, a neuroscientist, shares her story in My Stroke of Insight, where she describes having a stroke and watching, in real time, as her body shut down. 

While in the hospital, she was unable to move or speak, but she was completely aware of the energy people brought into her room. Some medical staff rushed in and out, checking charts with distraction in their eyes. Others entered calmly, gently touching her foot and speaking softly, even when she couldn’t respond.

She felt the difference.

The experience led her to post a note on her hospital door: “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the room.”

As educators, we lead rooms all day long. Classrooms. Conference rooms. Offices. Hallways. And whether we realize it or not, our energy speaks before we do. It’s contagious. So we have to be aware of what we’re bringing in.

Jon Gordon talks about energy vampires: people, tasks, or habits that suck the energy out of a space. Maybe it’s that standing meeting that never has a clear purpose. Or the unresolved tension that lingers after a difficult conversation. Or the pressure we put on ourselves to be available 24/7. Those are withdrawals from our energy budget.

That’s why I do weekly energy audits. I ask myself:

• Which meetings or tasks consistently drain me?
• What three things reliably fill me back up?

For me, the bucket-fillers are:

• A long walk with a great podcast
• Time outside, working in the yard
• Sitting by the pool and listening to the water in the bubblers

These aren’t luxuries -- they’re necessities. They’re deposits into my energy account.

Because here’s the truth: Energy isn’t unlimited -- but it is renewable. And just like budgeting money, when we’re aware of where our energy is going, we can make smarter choices that serve us and those we lead.

So here’s your challenge for the week:

1. Do a quick energy audit.

2. Identify one thing to release.

3. Name one thing that refuels you.

You are your most important resource. Protect your peace. Lead with intention, and protect the energy you bring into the room.

For New Leaders: Encouragement From Someone Who’s Walked the Path

This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own. Thanks for supporting TheCompelledEducator.com

As I step into a new season of life and leadership, I’ve been reflecting on the moments that shaped my journey -- and the leaders just beginning theirs. I originally shared the "The 4 E’s for New School Leaders" in 2022, and since then, I’ve heard from so many of you who’ve found encouragement in its message. With fresh perspective and renewed purpose, I’ve updated it here in hopes that it continues to support and inspire you in your own leadership path.

As I wrap up my 29th year in education, I find myself full of gratitude, reflection, and a renewed sense of purpose. After two incredible years as principal at Hoover High School and nearly two decades as a school administrator, I'm stepping away from the daily rhythm of school life -- not because I’m done leading, but because I’m entering a new season.

This next chapter will look different. I’m choosing to step back so I can care for my parents. At the same time, I’m stepping into something deeply meaningful to me -- continuing my work part-time with the Hope Institute and supporting educators through leadership coaching. I’ve always been passionate about helping others become their best, and I still believe that schools should be incredible, loving places where both students and adults thrive.

In a discussion on the Brand Builders Group podcast, Coach Micheal Burt—former championship high school basketball coach and now performance coach—shared this powerful insight on serving others:

“You cannot lose when you’re serving someone else.” 

That simple yet profound statement stopped me in my tracks. It perfectly captures what leadership is truly about -- not tallying wins for yourself, but guiding and uplifting others. As new leaders, remember: our greatest impact comes when we focus on serving others -- because in that service, we ourselves become stronger.

That’s exactly where I am.

I’ve lived my dream. I’ve led schools filled with amazing people and students. Now, it’s my time to give back. To coach. To encourage. To pour into the new leaders who are just beginning their own journeys.

So, this post is for you -- the new school leaders who are learning by doing. The ones who are searching for a boost, a fresh idea, or simply someone to say, You're doing better than you think. I’ve been where you are. I know the excitement. I know the doubt. And I know how powerful a little encouragement can be. 

Here are four things I want to share from my heart to yours.

Encourage

The word “encourage” literally means “to put courage into.” And if I could only give one gift to new leaders, it would be this one.

Encouragement isn’t just about making people feel good -- it’s about helping them be brave. It’s choosing to trust, to see the good, and to speak life into people. As a leader, your words matter. A handwritten note, a quick hallway high-five, or a shout-out in a meeting can create lasting impact.

And don’t forget to encourage yourself. I’ve always kept journals -- gratitude journals, reflection journals -- but throughout my leadership journey, this blog has been a source of inspiration for myself as well as others. I have a digital record of quotes that lifted me. Wins I needed to remember. Reflections that helped me grow. If you’re facing imposter syndrome (and most of us do), this kind of journal becomes a powerful reminder of your purpose and progress.

Empathize

Empathy is a leadership superpower.

One of my favorite teachers on this topic is Brené Brown, who reminds us that empathy isn’t about fixing others -- it’s about connecting with them. It’s feeling with people, not for them.

Dare to Lead has been an important part of my leadership journey.

In leadership, empathy looks like slowing down. It’s saying, “I see you. I’ve been there. You’re not alone.” It’s listening without needing to respond. It’s choosing kindness, even when you’re tired or frustrated.

Forbes once outlined five ways to lead with more empathy:

1. Change your mind
2. Allow the messy
3. Use candor productively
4. Involve others in decisions
5. Foster growth, not judgment

Empathy is how we build trust. It’s how we create safe places for people to take risks and grow.

Eliminate

When I first became a principal, I quickly realized: everything couldn’t be a priority. And that meant I had to learn what to eliminate.

I had to get crystal clear on my personal values and our school’s core values. If something didn’t align -- we didn’t do it. That clarity gave us freedom.

I also made it a habit to ask others, “What can I take off your plate?” and "What can I do for you?" Because I remember what it felt like to be in the classroom. The overwhelm. The constant additions. Leaders can -- and should -- look for what can be removed, simplified, or automated to make life better for staff.

Personally, I also worked to eliminate distractions and energy-drainers from my own routines. And I surrounded myself with encouragers -- people who lifted me up and reminded me why I do this work.

Engage

As a new school leader, you’ll be pulled in many directions -- emails, meetings, reports, and emergencies. But one of the most impactful ways to lead is by being present.

When I completed my doctoral dissertation, I studied the leadership practices of principals through the lens of Kouzes and Posner’s Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership. Their work deeply affirmed the way I view leadership -- not as a checklist of tasks, but as a relationship-centered journey. One of their five practices, Enable Others to Act, continues to resonate with me. Leaders build trust and foster collaboration not through grand gestures, but through daily, visible actions.

The framework in this book was used in my dissertation

Presence matters.

That’s why I made it a priority to be in the hallways -- not just in the mornings, but throughout the day. A quick fist bump with a student, asking a teacher how their child’s soccer game went, noticing when someone’s had a tough day -- these moments build trust. They communicate, “I see you. You matter.”

These might seem like small gestures -- but they build trust, human connection, and a strong school culture.

Randy Conley, Vice President and Trust Practice Leader for Blanchard, highlights that people thrive when four core needs are met:

1. to be trusted
2. to have hope
3. to feel worthy
4. to feel competent

Your visible presence -- through consistent engagement -- goes a long way in fulfilling those needs.

Here’s a leadership reflection for you:

How are you creating opportunities to connect with your community -- students, staff, and families -- beyond your desk and your calendar?

Because impactful leadership isn’t just about policies and procedures -- it’s about being seen, heard, and truly present.

Final Thought

As I step into this next season, my heart holds both gratitude and a touch of sadness. It’s never easy to leave a place and people you love. Hoover High has been a place of purpose, joy, and connection for me over the past two years—two of the most meaningful in my entire career. I will carry those memories with me always.

At the same time, I feel incredibly grateful to be able to support my parents in this next chapter. This shift isn’t about walking away -- it’s about walking toward something equally meaningful: continuing to pour into the lives of educators through my work with the Hope Institute and leadership coaching.

You don’t have to have it all figured out to lead well. You just have to keep growing, keep showing up, and keep pouring into others.

And when you’re not sure if you’re doing it right, hear this from me:

You are enough.

You are growing.

You’re doing better than you think.