Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Failure Isn't Final - It's Feedback

As an educator with almost 30 years of experience, I’ve seen a lot of shifts in education, but one constant remains: students must learn how to fail and rise again. It’s a concept that seems to make many parents uncomfortable in today’s world. We live in an age where we strive to protect children from discomfort, setbacks, or disappointment. While the intention comes from a place of love, shielding students from failure robs them of the very experiences that build resilience, character, and confidence.

Failure: The Foundation of Learning

In education, failure isn’t a dirty word—it’s a critical part of growth. I often remind students and parents alike that "FAIL" stands for First Attempt In Learning. No one achieves greatness without moments of struggle. Whether it’s figuring out a tough math problem, missing a goal on the soccer field, or stumbling over a line in a class presentation, failure is simply a step on the road to mastery.

Professional athletes understand this better than most. In baseball, a .300 batting average—a statistic where the batter gets a hit three out of every ten times—is considered excellent. This means players fail at the plate 70% of the time. Athletes work through failure every day—missed free throws, slow runs, or frustrating practices—and they come back stronger. Failure, for them, isn’t final. It’s feedback.

The Problem of "Failure-Free" Childhoods

As a school leader, I’ve seen the effects of shielding students from failure up close. When students make a poor choice and end up in my office, it’s an opportunity to reflect and grow. 

But I’ve also had parents plead with me not to hold their child accountable, saying things like, “This isn’t like him” or “She’s never made a mistake like this before.”

When I hear this, I often wonder: How many times has this student been allowed to fail?

The truth is, small failures in childhood prepare students for bigger challenges later. When we deny them these moments, we set them up to believe failure is catastrophic instead of educational. A misstep at 14 or 15 years old is just that—a misstep. Consequences are not punishment; they are a way to teach students to reflect, adjust, and move forward.

For Students Without Built-In Opportunities to Fail

Programs like athletics, band, or theater often provide students with natural lessons about failure. A missed shot, a wrong note, or a forgotten line in a play teaches humility, perseverance, and the value of practice. 

But what about students who aren’t involved in these activities?

For them, failure might come less frequently, which makes it feel more overwhelming when it does occur. As educators, we have to model what failure looks like and how to handle it:

  • Celebrate mistakes as part of the process: Share stories of famous failures that led to great success.
  • Guide students to reflect: What went wrong? What could they do differently?
  • Teach perseverance: Failure without follow-up leads to frustration, but failure with growth leads to confidence.

One powerful way to start this conversation is to share inspiring stories or videos. For example, Michael Jordan famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

The Role of Parents and Educators

We must partner together to help students see failure not as the end, but as an opportunity to grow. As parents, it’s natural to want to protect your child from the sting of failure, but it’s far more important to equip them with the tools to bounce back. Encourage them to try, fail, and try again. As educators, we must provide spaces where failure is seen as part of learning, not something to be feared.

When failure happens—and it will—we can remind students that yesterday is gone, but today is a chance to do better. The ability to stand back up, take ownership, and keep moving forward will serve them far beyond the walls of our classrooms.

So let’s embrace the F word—failure. Because in every stumble lies the potential for greatness. And in every challenge lies the opportunity to build stronger, more resilient students who are ready to take on the world.

What steps will you take today to help your students embrace failure and grow from it?




Sunday, January 12, 2025

Be a Thermostat, Not a Thermometer

This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own. Thanks for supporting TheCompelledEducator.com

As Leaders, We Need to be Thermostats

If you’ve followed me here or on X (Twitter), you know I believe that leadership is about influence, not titles. True leadership shows up in our actions, our words, and our ability to inspire those around us. That’s why I love the concept of being a thermostat instead of a thermometer—especially for educators and leaders.

A thermometer reacts to the environment. It reflects the current temperature but doesn’t change it. A thermostat, on the other hand, sets the tone. It determines the temperature of a room and influences everything around it. As leaders, we need to be thermostats.

In Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead, she reminds us that leaders take responsibility for finding and developing the potential in others. Setting the tone isn’t just about maintaining control or authority—it’s about cultivating courage, trust, and connection.

As I shared in a previous post, Brene also writes that vulnerability is at the heart of courageous leadership. It’s the emotion we feel when stepping into uncertainty or risk, and it’s inseparable from courage. As thermostats, we influence how others respond to challenges by demonstrating our own vulnerability and courage.

In moments of tension or conflict, a thermometer might reflect the chaos, amplifying frustration or fear. But a thermostat remains steady, providing calm and clarity. Brene’s message is clear: leaders must create spaces where vulnerability is welcomed because it’s only through vulnerability that teams build trust and thrive.

Leadership is as much about presence as it is about action. When you’re a thermostat, people know what to expect from you. Your steadiness and intentionality can stabilize an otherwise unpredictable environment.


This reminds me of Jon Gordon’s The Energy Bus. In the book, Gordon emphasizes the importance of positive energy and consistency in leadership. Your attitude and behavior shape the culture around you. If you haven’t read The Energy Bus, it’s a must-add to your list. It’s packed with practical lessons that will help you become a thermostat who radiates positivity and purpose.

Thermostats don’t just set the temperature; they communicate it clearly. As leaders, we must prioritize clarity in every interaction. Brene reminds us in Dare to Lead that avoiding difficult conversations to “protect others’ feelings” often results in confusion and resentment.

Instead, we need to embrace clear, courageous communication. Share feedback with kindness, but don’t shy away from being direct. When we avoid clarity, we leave people guessing, which only creates stress and frustration.

Being a Thermostat in the Classroom

As educators, we’re called to set the tone in our classrooms every single day. A thermometer teacher might get swept up in the whirlwind of student emotions, reacting to every challenge or disruption. A thermostat teacher remains steady, modeling patience, empathy, and structure.

One of my favorite books for teachers, Teach Like a Champion by Doug Lemov, provides strategies to help teachers stay intentional and proactive. Lemov’s approach reminds us that we can create a classroom environment where learning and respect flourish—if we’re intentional about our own behavior first.

Who We Are is How We Lead

Brene writes that “who we are is how we lead,” and this couldn’t be truer for thermostats. If we want to set a tone of courage, positivity, and trust, we need to start with ourselves. That means showing up authentically, doing the internal work to grow, and modeling the behavior we want to see in others.

On a personal note, this concept has been life-changing for me. Over the years, I’ve carried my own “bag of rocks”—the doubts, fears, and shame that weigh us down. Through books like Dare to Lead and The Gifts of Imperfection (another gem by Brene Brown), I’ve learned to let go of perfectionism and embrace the vulnerability required to lead with authenticity.

A Call to Action

This week, I challenge you to reflect: Are you a thermostat or a thermometer? Are you shaping your environment or letting it shape you?

Start small. Set the tone in one interaction, one meeting, or one class. Notice how your energy influences others. 

If you’re looking for inspiration, pick up Dare to Lead, The Energy Bus, or Teach Like a Champion. Each offers powerful insights to help you grow as a leader and make a lasting impact.

Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, intentional, and courageous. So, let’s set the temperature for success—in our classrooms, schools, and communities.

Be the thermostat.


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Wednesday, January 1, 2025

My 3 Words for 2025


My 3 Words for 2025


Before 2014, I used to set traditional New Year's resolutions every January, hoping to start the year with fresh goals and determination. However, like many others (as shown in studies where fewer than half of participants stick to their goals), I often found myself falling short and abandoning those resolutions.

Realizing this approach wasn’t serving me well, I discovered a different practice in 2014 through Chris Brogan. Instead of setting rigid resolutions, I began choosing three guiding words each year—words that act as touchstones to focus my intentions, inspire my actions, and align my purpose.

For 2024, I chose Ignite, Impact, and Instigate. Each word guided me through moments of inspiration, challenges, meaningful action, and courageous change. As the year unfolded, those words served as powerful reminders to stay focused, bold, and intentional.

This past year was also marked by a significant personal and professional milestone: earning my Doctorate of Education. Completing my dissertation was an incredible journey—one that required focus, resilience, and dedication. While I thought I would be able to resume blogging regularly in 2024, I stepped away from blogging to fully invest in my research and writing. Now, with my degree in hand and a renewed sense of purpose, I’m excited to return to this space and share reflections, insights, and stories once again.

As I prepared for 2025, I’ve once again spent time reflecting on the past year and identifying areas where I want to grow, lead, and live with purpose. These reflections led me to my three words for 2025: Elevate, Thrive, and Nurture.

#My3Words

Elevate

"Elevate" represents a commitment to raising the bar in every aspect of my life—professionally, personally, and relationally. It’s about lifting others while also challenging myself to grow in leadership, vision, and execution. Elevate reminds me to operate with excellence, seek higher standards, and create opportunities for those around me to rise as well.

Thrive

To "Thrive" is to move beyond merely surviving. It’s about embracing challenges with resilience, leaning into opportunities with confidence, and finding joy in the process. Thrive reminds me to focus on well-being, to celebrate successes—both big and small—and to intentionally create space for growth and renewal.

Nurture

The word "Nurture" speaks to the importance of care, intentionality, and support. Whether it’s nurturing relationships, fostering a positive school culture, or investing in my own well-being, this word serves as a reminder to prioritize meaningful connections and provide the support needed for growth to occur.


Past #My3Words Choices

2014 - Discipline. Intentional. Balance.
2015 - Rhythm. Bravery. Fitness.
2016 - Focus. Purpose. Do.
2017 - Pivot. Go. Grow.
2018 - Lift. Create. Relentless. 
2019 - Practice. Execute. Be.


Over the years, I’ve realized that sharing my three words publicly isn’t just about accountability—it’s about connection. When I share my words, I’m opening a window into my goals, my mindset, and my hopes for the year ahead. In turn, others often share their own words with me, creating moments of shared purpose and mutual encouragement. These exchanges remind me of the power of community and the way our stories, even in their uniqueness, can intersect and inspire.

“The three words are a shorthand representation of your bigger story. It’s kind of like how an icon isn’t the software program. It’s just a way for you to mentally access all the work you’re doing.” 
                                                                 — Chris Brogan

I hope these words have inspired you to create and share your own words for 2025. If so, please share them below in the comments or on X




Sunday, December 31, 2023

Sparking Change in the New Year: Ignite, Impact, Instigate

My 3 Words for 2024 by The Compelled Educator

Every year before 2014, I would select a "New Year's Resolution"  to start on January 1, and I would usually make a misstep and end up NOT reaching my goal. (In this study, less than half of participants reported success at sticking to their goals). 

It was a tradition that I knew I needed to ditch, and in 2014 I learned of a practice by Chris Brogan that has proven to be beneficial to me both personally and professionally.

Since 2014, I select three words at the beginning of the year that will set my intentions, drive my actions, and align my purpose throughout the year. 

For 2023, I chose Heal, Leap, and Sow. Little did I know how much I would lean into those words throughout the year, as it has been a year full of changes, big life events, and lots of joy. 

As I get back to blogging consistently in 2024, I will be sharing about those changes and hard right turns that I made in 2023.

As each year comes to a close, I reflect on the year with specific questions to help me prepare and build momentum for the next one. 

Here are five questions I ask myself as the end of the year approaches. (I don't think anything so far in my life has topped my answers for 2023!)

  1. What has had the greatest impact and how can I do more to amplify that?
  2. What am I most grateful for?
  3. What am I most proud of and why?
  4. What did I learn this year, and what do I need to dive deeper into?
  5. What challenged me this year?

#My3Words


Ignite: Lighting the Fire Within
The word "Ignite" embodies the spirit of beginnings. It's not just about the external flames but the internal spark waiting to be kindled. As we stand on the threshold of the new year, let's ignite the passion within us. Using "ignite" as a guidepost and reminder throughout the year, I will seek out the activities, pursuits, and relationships that set my soul on fire so that I may shine brightly for others.

Impact: Creating Ripples of Change
"In impact, there is meaning." In the coming year, I want to be mindful of the footprints I leave on the sands of time and on new pathways. Impact is not just about the grand gestures but the small, consistent acts that shape our world, and my desire it to be conscious of choices I make and recognize the potential impact they have on my life as well as the lives of others.

Instigate: Provoking Positive Change
Sometimes, change needs a nudge. "Instigate" isn’t about stirring up trouble; it's about being a catalyst for positive transformation. It's about asking the hard questions, sparking the necessary conversations, and instigating change where change is due. It's about being a force for good. In my new role as a high school principal, I will continue to provoke positive change.

While Chris says that we don't need to explain our words to anyone else, I find that posting them helps me with accountability as well as community. I learn a lot by reading about others' words, and over the years I've had others with common stories and goals to reach out to me. 

“The three words are a shorthand representation of your bigger story. It’s kind of like how an icon isn’t the software program. It’s just a way for you to mentally access all the work you’re doing.”
                                                                - Chris Brogan

May the flames of enthusiasm, the ripples of impact, and the sparks of positive change guide us through the uncharted territories of the coming year. Here's to a year of intention, growth, and making a difference -- one ignited moment, impactful choice, and instigated change at a time!

I hope these words have inspired you to create and share your own words for 2024. If so, please share them in the comments or on Twitter or Facebook

Past #My3Words Choices

2014 - Discipline. Intentional. Balance.
2015 - Rhythm. Bravery. Fitness.
2016 - Focus. Purpose. Do.
2017 - Pivot. Go. Grow.
2018 - Lift. Create. Relentless. 
2019 - Practice. Execute. Be.



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My 3 Words for 2024 by The Compelled Educator