Saturday, January 14, 2017

How to avoid giving feedback that seems like unsolicited advice


I recently participated in a twitter chat led by Compelled Tribe member Allyson Apsey where the topic was being a champion for teachers. It was mainly directed towards school administrators, even though educators in all positions could participate and share input. One of the questions Allyson asked was "What does supporting teachers NOT look like?" 


What does _______ NOT look like?

I love questions that are framed this way... it's like figuring out what we need to take off of our plate in order to make room for something new. It also helps us to have models that are examples of good and bad when we are trying to improve. 

One of the responses to Allyson's question has sparked a conversation in our Women in Education Leadership Voxer group. The comment that has led to further discussion is "Unsolicited advice is about the worst support one can offer." In education, we value communication and feedback. We know that growth occurs when we take action on feedback we get. 


Four ways to keep feedback we give from seeming like "unsolicited advice"?


1. Build relationships first When the relationship and/or trust is not there, giving feedback is more likely to feel like unsolicited advice. School leaders must continue to build trust and deepen relationships with staff members so that they can share feedback that will help staff members grow. 

2. Ask for permission Sometimes we give our input because we believe that others want our advice or information. One suggestion is to ask the recipient for permission. For example, "Would you mind if I shared an idea with you about your classroom arrangement that I learned from another teacher?" It also prepares the recipient for what is coming and helps to eliminate surprise. 

3. Consider HOW it is said Have a method for giving feedback, whether it is to sandwich it between compliments or use a phrase that makes it non-threatening. Just blurting out advice without framing it or giving notice of what's about to come can cause a recipient to be surprised and get defensive.

4. Offer the opportunity to consider and respond Let the recipient know you are open to hearing from him if he would like to take time to consider the information and get back to you if he has a response or question.

Sometimes the baggage people bring to work prevent them from receiving feedback/advice, no matter how well-stated or intended the advice is. It should be noted that ultimately, it is up to the recipient to decide if she will act on the advice or not.  

Leaders who create cultures where risk-taking is valued and applauded will find that it opens up the door to looking for and accepting feedback. When one takes a risk, it is with a chance of failure. Being willing to learn from failure is a mindset that understands the process of "experiment-feedback-iterate-repeat."


Sometimes the only way to avoid making feedback seem like unsolicited advice is not to give it at all. 



What other tips would you give leaders on giving feedback that doesn't seem like unsolicited advice? (Share in the comments below)


Sunday, January 8, 2017

Increase employee engagement: Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses


It was Jim Collins who said that it is important to get the right people in the right seats on the bus (Good to Great). Even if everyone in an organization has their "why," each person will bring different strengths, talents, and weaknesses to the table. 

Getting people on the bus is extremely important, and one of the most important responsibilities of a school leader is hiring people who will make the organization better. But, what about members of an organization who are already there? In education, where there are teacher tenure laws, how can we make sure that everyone is in the right seat on the bus? 

There's a survey tool that may be of assistance, called the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. The survey identifies a person's 24 character strengths, which all fall under six core virtues: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. In about 15 minutes, after 120 questions, you will be able to download a report of your 24 strengths.

I recently took the survey in order to give me insight to my strengths and weaknesses and to identify those strengths that I display most often. If I follow Collins' belief about getting the right people on the right seats, I can use the strengths survey to help me make decisions that will allow me to play to my strengths and bring my best to the table. 


Even though we are tempted to focus on our weaknesses first and try to fix them, it's important to remember that we should focus on our top 5 strengths and use them to develop the weaker ones. 

If you're a leader in your organization, the VIA Survey would be a good tool for your leadership team. By creating situations where team members can use their strengths to shine, leaders cultivate cultures where employees are valued and appreciated. 

You can find the survey here: VIA Character Strengths


How do you know if you're on the right seat on the bus?

What tools do you use to empower your employees and celebrate their strengths?




Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Leave your baggage at the schoolhouse door


"Leave your 'stuff' at the door to the gym" or "Leave your baggage at the gate to the field." Those were both phrases that I would tell my players during my coaching career. Stress, worry, self-doubt, negativity, and anger were just some of the emotions that I was referring to. I knew that the court or the field could be a place of refuge. I wanted the places where we practiced and played to be places where the athletes could, if for a short time, take their focus away from negative emotions and be surrounded by positivity. 

I also knew that the negative emotions would take away from a player's personal development as well as the team development and cohesiveness. I wanted each and every athlete to be as individually successful as possible, and I wanted the team to be successful as a group.  

These were also actions that I felt like I needed to do as the leader of my players. I had to leave my own baggage at the door so that I could pour into my players as much as I had to give. It was also important for me to model these life skills and coping skills, because we learn greatly from things that are modeled for us. 

Why is it important that educators "leave their baggage at the door" and keep it out of the classroom?


What we value is reflected in our actions, so we must first value positivity and being the best person we can be for our students. When this is one of our values, it becomes easier to check the baggage at the door. 

Educators who bring negative baggage into the workplace, whether it's a classroom or school, can be temperamental, inconsiderate, resentful, and neglectful.

As educators, we commit to bringing our best to our students each day. It's hard to bring out the best in others when we are not our best selves. 

We need to model positivity and teamwork for our students. Kids will learn more from what we do and who we are than what we say.

How to leave your baggage at the door


Understand that positivity is a choice. Negative body language, tone of voice, and other actions prevent a person from demonstrating a positive attitude.

Practice mindfulness. Know yourself, be self-aware of your emotions, and be conscious of what you are bringing into the workplace.

Forgive others and yourself. Unforgiveness is a heavy burden, and one that's hard to shed. 

Make a conscious decision to be emotionally consistent at work. Allow the door to the building to be your trigger to open yourself up to positivity and gratitude, crowding out all of the negative baggage.

What are other ways a person might leave their baggage at the door?



Sunday, January 1, 2017

My 3 words for 2017


I love this time of the year as I reflect on the year as a whole -- Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Did I help someone be their best? What did I do in 2016 that I need to stop doing in the new year? What did I not do in 2016 that I need to start doing in 2017?

Reading back through blog posts, compiling a list of the top 10 posts from the year, and reading blog posts and tweets from my network of friends all give me inspiration in choosing the words I will use to guide me in the new year. 

I used to make a list of resolutions which was usually a list of things to stop doing. A few years ago I followed the lead of Chris Brogan and began choosing 3 words to use as a guide throughout the year. I try to choose words that are very personal and meaningful that will keep me grounded through the highs and lows of the year. Sharing the words on my blog increases my accountability and keeps the words front and center as I map my course throughout the year. 

My Past 3 Word Choices

2014 - Discipline. Intentional. Balance.
2015 - Rhythm. Bravery. Fitness.
2016 - Focus. Purpose. Do. 


There’s a word that’s been on my mind for a while after I listened to an interview with Jenny Blake on Grant Baldwin’s Speaker Lab Podcast. (Jenny is the author of the new book, Pivot.) 


Then I read a post by my friend Dan Rockwell titled, How to Face 2017 like a Leader. He used the word PIVOT twice in the post, and I knew that it would be one of my words for the new year. 


Jenny uses the analogy of a basketball player (an analogy I can really relate to!) and how the player stays grounded with her pivot foot while the free foot can move about, looking for new opportunities. In life, these opportunities are things that interest us, including skills or projects. While Jenny shares her analogy when looking to make career moves, I think it can be applied in any situation that requires change. The pivot foot, the grounded foot, represents a person’s strengths and experience. As we enter into 2017, I continue to ask myself, “What’s next?” I want to continue to build on my strengths throughout changes and new opportunities and be ready to pivot when new opportunities arise. 


The second word I chose for 2017 is GO. Why this word? Because I know that action comes before courage. In 2017, I want to continue to take risks and to SAY YES to new opportunities and adventures.  It’s invaluable to me to have a PLN that supports and encourages me as I pursue my passions of working with schools, school systems, and individuals to help them achieve their goals. I plan to continue to GO forward throughout 2017!

Embrace fear, insecurity and uncertainty as the doorways of opportunity that they are.  - Jenny Blake



My third word for 2017 is GROW. While I’m a curious person who loves to learn, I want to be focused and intentional about it during the new year. Even when it’s uncomfortable, overbearing, and hard, I plan to embrace the moments and appreciate the growth from those situations. I also plan to ask for help from others. I can’t do it alone, and I need/want to know my blindspots. I will reach out and allow others to help me grow into the best person I can be. 


I’m already looking forward to the end of the year where I will get to look back and see the growth that has been made throughout the year. Thank you for letting me share with you my words for the new year. I would love for you to share yours with me in the comments, on twitter or on Facebook.

Happy New Year!

Fighting history fills one with doubt and fear. It takes courage and faith to pivot forward and create a future. 

- Dan Rockwell



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